Wednesday, April 09, 2008

There's an uneasiness in the air. I'm worried about a friend and it's as though there is something askew in her life right now that I can actually feel. It's nothing I can put a finger on, no definitive word or action that points to anything specifically wrong, but it's there. It reminds of when a spring thunderstorm is rolling in and you can actually feel that it's coming in the air. It isn't the change in temperature or the clouds on the horizon but a barely noticeable change in the atmosphere. It is as though you can feel a slight charge of electricity.

That's how I'm feeling now. Something isn't right and I'm worried. She tends to back away from friends when things aren't going well. I've been trying to reach out to her casually without making a big deal about things but that hasn't worked as she's been "busy." I have mixed feelings about it. One one hand I want her to know that I love her and want to be there for her but I also don't want to rush in and invade her space if she just needs time to work things out on her own privately. On the other hand I'm a little hurt that she's backing away and doesn't want my shoulder to cry on. Which just makes me angry with myself for feeling that way, who am I to have hurt feelings because someone else is going through a rough patch in life? How selfish am I?

Is it woman's or mother's intuition? Is it someone so close to your heart that you can personally feel when their's is breaking? There are alarm bells ringing in my head, hurt in my heart and anxiety in my stomach.

The bottom line is I'm hoping I'm terribly wrong and really mis-interpreting things but it sure doesn't feel that way.

My dear friend, I love you and hope everything is ok.

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